In 2009, Brown pleaded guilty to felony assault. He was issued a restraining order and court-ordered community service. Over the past three years, Rihanna has expressed to the media that she still loves Brown despite his brutal attack on her. Now that they are rekindling their highly publicized romance the public has much to say about her decision to let Brown back in her life.
Now I'm not writing this article to pass judgment on Rihanna or Brown, but I do want to shed light on why women remain or return to toxic relationships. I, myself, have also been in a number of unhealthy relationships through the years, but after deep soul searching and therapy I began to understand why I gravitated to those types of relationships. To be honest, emotional demons and judgmental ghosts were locked in my mind as a result of dealing with several horrific experiences when I was younger, including rape, homelessness, drug addiction, criminal activity, prostitution, and physical and emotional abuse. Until I got therapy I struggled to maintain healthy relationships, especially with men.
All I've ever wanted was to be close to a man, love him and have him love me, too. I wanted to feel the closeness and maybe that would shield me from the ghosts. I wanted to feel close so I could stop feeling pain and loneliness. But despite being in various relationships I still felt unloved. Even the really sweet, wonderful guys who did try to love me, I just pushed them away. No matter how educated or successful I was in the back of my mind I always felt unworthy of love. Considering my past I still felt I had the stigma of a drug addict and whore etched across my forehead. So, how could any good man possibly ever love me? With this kind of mentality is it any wonder I usually ended up with men who were abusive?
So, I can truly understand what Rihanna and other women are going through. Rihanna grew up in an abusive home. During her August 2012 interview with Oprah Winfrey, she spoke about her father, Ronald Fenty, who was physically abusive towards her mother. Over the years, Rihanna learned to forgive her father, who she said, "was a good person deep down." Fenty had his own personal demons to overcome, which Rihanna recognized in the same way she said she understood Brown's demons. Despite the brutal attack, which left Rihanna seriously injured, three years later she had this to say during Winfrey's interview:
"I think he (Brown) was the love of my life. He was my first love and I see that he loved me the same way," she added. "The main thing for me is he's at peace. I'm not at peace if he's not happy or he's still lonely. I care. It actually matters that he finds that peace."
There's just one problem with Rihanna's statement. When she got away from Brown in 2009 it would have been in her best interest to stay away, get therapy and move on with her life. However, understanding what Rihanna saw as a children growing up in an abusive home may help people understand why she can't break free without help. Clinical psychologist Dr. Jeff Gardere says studies have shown people who stay in situations of domestic violence can even develop post-traumatic stress. ?Children are also adversely affected because they can become victims or victimizers later in life,? Gardere says.
Source: http://www.divinecaroline.com/22188/132895-true-love-doesn-t-hurt
jon corzine austin rivers austin rivers sweet home alabama etch a sketch the host hoodie
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.